Today was my 2 week post op appointment and I must say that I'm really glad that I made the decision that I did. I was all set to just hear about the damage to the ovaries that was caused by the scar tissue and the new endo growth but didn't expect to hear what I did hear. The doctor is excited as to how well I actually do feel. For the most part the pain is gone, my incisions aren't healing the way she would live and I'm still having some minor cramping in my back and she says that that will go away in a few months. My system is still adjusting and healing from the surgery so the mild cramping is to be expected, I really thought I was done with all that crap, however, if I only have to deal with it a few more months I think I'll live! Thats way better than living the next 10-15 years with this shit!
In 2012 when she sent me to see a fertility doctor she made a statement that she thought the endo grown inside my uterus muscle and it was confirmed with the pathology of everything. Adenomyosis is the medical term and this causes a whole other set of problems for fertility. This makes having babies that much more difficult because the uterus just isn't strong enough to handle carrying a baby for 9 months. She fully believes that this is where the majority of my pain has always come from. Where I've had mild to moderate pain at different times of the month, I would always have severe pain during my cycles and regardless of the different birth control options, stopping the cycles never happened and estrogen just increased the problems with the Adenomyosis causing more pain and more damage over time. Patients that have the Adenomyosis are encouraged to have a family early if they plan on it because there is no stopping the damage once it starts and the longer you wait, the worse your chance is that you will actually have a succesful pregnancy.
She was really surprised and told me that she felt bad about the ovaries being as damaged as they were. Its not her fault but she said that the multiple surgeries had caused the scar tissue. My thinking, one way or another they were going to get damaged. If not from the scar tissue than by the massive amounts of cysts that developed all the time and the endo growth that just wouldn't go away, scar tissue was the least of my worries! One thing I wasn't expecting, my ovaries were twice the size that they should have been and were just a tad bigger than my uterus, although she did say this was somewhat common in women that have PCOS.
The one thing that I've always been aware of is that there was a good chance that at some point in my journey with the endo and PCOS there was a chance for cancer to develop and throughout this journey I've had my blood tested just as often as I've had ultrasounds done. And although she started her statement off with there is no need to worry it wasn't cancerous, hearing that there was a tumor on my ovary was the scariest thing I've ever heard. I can't imagine what its like to be told you have cancer and I pray to God that I never have to go through that but my heart really sank when she told me that there was a tumor present. Dealing with the endo and PCOS and everything that comes with those 2 horrible diseases still didn't make it easy to hear. I fully believe that the Good Lord lead me down the right path because I could have faced cancer in the future. I may be a little over dramatic right now but its never easy to hear that you had a tumor, regardless of the test results, its not a feeling I ever want to have again.
My hormones are going to be adjusted in a few weeks. I'm going to finish the pills that I have, simply because they were so expensive and I'm not going to waste the money, then I'm going to switch to a patch with a lower dose and see if I can finally get some sleep! She wasn't so worried about the hot flashes because I haven't had so many, but my not being able to sleep was a huge concern. Hopefully the switch in a few weeks will be successful and I'll be able to get a good nights sleep without having to take sleeping pills!!
The next few months are going to be my real test. Just trying to get everything adjusted and starting to actually feel normal (if there is such a thing) will be a huge task. There are still going to be days that I have my little meltdowns, but hopefully they will be few and far between. I WANT A NORMAL LIFE!!!
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